Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Summer Break

Instead of contemplating some new blog post every time I update my 365 pics and then coming up with nothing of any substance I've decided to take a summer break from my Pandaleidoscope blog until SEPTEMBER.  I am just so sick that I can't post any pics of PandaJOY.  She is so much of our life right now.

I don't think I told you that last week the birth father did indeed chose to APPEAL the termination trial's verdict.  That means that he just prolonged the ability for us to adopt.  Our hope was to be done with this thing and move on in September, but now it could be around there or it could be a year.  It all depends on the appeals' court judge and if he/she deems it worthy to move on to an appeals court or if it is a bunch of schmuck. It was disappointing, but we've been fought the entire way through our journey to child number two.  For crying out loud, we've been trying for number two for seven years. Of course, he was going to appeal.  Nothing worthy comes easy. Usually.

I am also working through some personal issues and watching my God making me into a new creation.  The one I am supposed to be. The one He created me to be.

I want to spread it all out on here, but some things just need to be kept out of the blogosphere or at least until the right time.

For now, we are moving on through our fun summer activities with the children's ministry, disciplining and loving two beautiful girls, loving and tolerating that deaf doggie, trying some new things, waiting for the day this summer that my in-laws' fabulous retirement dream home is ready, celebrating PJ's and PP's birthdays, celebrating 19 years of marriage to my best friend, trying to eat healthier, working through the fun list of To Do's with PG and PJ, planning for fun photo shoots in the fall, looking forward to seeing Journey*, Foreigner* and Night Ranger* in September with some of our best friends who are also in their 40's (along with all the other forty-somethings that will be there....LOL!!!!) and spending time together as our precious foursome continues to grow closer together.

Lots going on, but just no motivation to post about them daily.

Love to you all and I hope you have a blessed summer as well.

I'll keep up the 365, but otherwise see you in September!!

Monday, June 13, 2011

How Cute Is THIS?!!

I saw this today on my Pinterest addiction   organizational boards and could not resist making it today!  It's a 12x12 scrapbook frame with paper behind the glass and then using dry erase marker I now have a weekly menu board that is DARLING and functional!! I love it and will change out the paper with the season.....or my moods!  LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Coming to a Close

PandaGirl is about to wrap up her 2nd grade school year next week and she is MORE than ready for a break!  This little chick has been through the wringer in trying to adjust to life with a new little "sister".  I put that in quotes because we have lived in limbo about if and when this whole adoption is going to finalize with PandaJOY.  Though we've made it through the big fire, we still have to walk across hot coals to get finished with this thing.  The birth family still has about 75 days left to appeal.  I'm not worried they'd win. I just don't want to prolong PJ's adoption so she can officially take our name, stop the craziness that comes along with the foster system and move on with her little life.

I have just about lost my mind, I think, several time in the past few months trying to deal with the changes, the attitudes of an 8 year old and the very demanding needs of a 2 yr old in survival mode......AND DEALING WITH THAT HONKIN' HUGE DEAF DOG!  ONLY by the grace of our Loving God have I not lost it.

I feel so freakin' OLD!!!!!

Too old to have a two year old.  Not that I don't want PJ. I DO!!!!!!!!!  It is just so different being an "older mom".  I never processed what that might be like when wanting another child.  Lots of people do it, but it really is different than being in the early 30's.

I am just now getting excited about the summer days ahead. It has been difficult refereeing these kids who've been thrown together and expected to love each other. They really do get along well, but they also can get very ugly and jealous.  Yes, I know your thinking, "that's only natural"......BUT....both of my girls have unknown past memories that are triggered by certain things and must be dealt with in ways that bring them back to a place of security and not fear.

I am coming to terms with the fact that my family really is different.  I am aware that all families have their own issues, but most at least have the first year and a half with their biological children under their belt.  Bonding that took place.  A sense of security within the child.

My girls don't have that gift.

I don't either.

I feel so certain that God planned for these beauties to be my daughters for reasons unknown to me.  The paths we have weathered to get to them have been emotionally & financially brutal to say the least.  It's all worth it.  Even the battle in parenting them.

They are precious and I look forward to what the Lord has in store for our beautifully made family.