Petals & Thorns

Are you as weird as me?

Are you as fickle as me?

Do you waste time?

Do you have pity-parties and invite no one. Maybe invite everyone?

Do you love reading other people's blog words? Do you secretly hate it?

Do you spend more time comparing your lack of life to those who seemingly have a better-than-your-life blog post?

Are you wondering where the heck I am going with these ridiculous questions?

Me too.

I finally had a bit of time to do some blog-hopping this morning (really, I just sat down to check my email and the weather and one click led to another and so now I'm here babbling). I was led to the blog Bring the Rain. Her story was in the new HomeLife magazine that I get from my church. I've read her blog several times in the past couple of years.

Heart-wrenching.

There's always someone with a story that seems to hold more pain than your own, don't you think? In those discoveries there is that momentary cringe of sadness for them and a wave of thankfulness washing over that says, "Whew. I'm so glad that's not me." or "I could never go through that."

That sweet little rose bush in my back yard is a reminder that life is full of beautiful petal moments, but plenty of thorn moments as well.

I am so distracted by the curiosity in my head of your story. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a life that has had unexplainable joy and unbearable pain. The older I get and the more life shows on my skin, the more I notice life happenings on other people's skin. I have found that friends around my age or older hate the wrinkles and stiffening bodies, but would never go back to their 20's again. That's nothing against being in your 20's because it's there and on into the 30's that your eyes are opened and you begin to really, really understand that you don't really know much about anything.

That's how I am. Right now. Gee--that was uplifting. Maybe my blog will get picked up for being so enlightening and I'll have 1000's of followers and everyone will want to be me and have my life.

Not.

Dang, girl, what's with the acid today?

I'm OK. I still love Jesus and He still loves me. I have JOY in my heart and I'm looking forward to a great day. Really, I am. No acid or ugly undertones.

I just read the "About Us" portion of THIS SITE. I actually found myself being discouraged instead of encouraged which is NOT the intention of the site. Am I jealous that I'm not one of the girls on there? Do I feel "less than" because my life isn't in the Blogosphere as something special in which 1000's 0f readers partake on a daily basis?

Maybe.

Sometimes I wonder if others have extra hours in their day or if I am just really great at blowing my allotment of hours to the wind. My mind gets all twisty and wonky when I try to figure out how some women can do all that they do........AND blog about it. I know some people can fib or puff up their real life experiences, but the blogs I frequent I tend to think they are posting the real stuff they do.

There are sooooo many different styles of people that I adore. I think I'm going to do a post where I link you to all the fabulous places I like to visit on the web. There are just a vast array of people and personalities and talents "out there" that I love. I want it all!

I finished Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity. It is a must have. She rants and raves in this book like I've never seen her!!! She brings it on home about the insecurity that plagues us all and has done so most of our lives. Men included. Then she so passionately shows our true security in Jesus.

There have been several times since turning the last page of her book that I have said out loud, "My security is in Christ Jesus." Almost like a mantra. Telling myself, the Enemy or anyone in earshot that nothing is going to make me feel "less than" the child of God that I am.

Now, I need to get off my rear and go spend some time with Him seeing as how my security seems to strengthen when I spend my time in His presence as opposed to feeling like a scarecrow in a cornfield with life passing me by when I spend my time online. (I know, I'm contradicting my very self, because I will certainly log back on to see if anyone commented about my babbles).

Little Peddlers Are We

Sorry for the delay! Here's a quick pic of me and PandaPop from Saturday. Our church had a women's expo where we sold handmade leather journals that PP made himself (he hand sewed the pages he cut, cut the leather, the whole bit!!), old coin cufflinks that he made, Venetian glass necklaces that I put together and my photography business for bookings. We had a blast!!!

That's all I have for now. VERY busy week ahead so know that I hope to be back with some better posts in a few days!

These Small Hours Add Up #3

1. Added a link to my photography site under my business card logo. Top Right.

2. Spring weather.

3. My back is 98% better.

4. PandaGirl was complimented by a fellow student who told the teacher that "PG" would never lie (when another student in question didn't fess up to a bad deed).

5. Blessed by my friend who lent me his flash for a big event that I photographed.

6. Sobered by the testimony of a former battered wife who was the guest speaker at the event I covered. It was a fundraiser for safe houses for victims of domestic violence.

7. Love my new red phone that slides open and has a Qwerty keyboard. I can quickly text with the best of 'em now.

8. Mmmm. Special K Protein Shakes.

9. James Dobson just came out with Bringing Up Girls to balance out his insight of Bringing Up Boys. Our children are in a bigger battle than we EVER faced. We have to be aware and prepare them.

10. New thrift store just opened up. Clean. Nice. Grabbed several cute funky hats & scarves for photo shoots.

11. Ordered incredible book about the in's & out's of digital photography. It's like I'm in school. Kinda.

12. PandaPop and I giddy about selling some of our wares at our church's women's expo on Saturday.

***I entered this fun photo into a contest for creativity. I called it "PandaMom". It fits me.

Texas Bluebonnets 2010

Welcome to spring in Texas! Every April we are blessed with gorgeous oceans of these wild beauties! Bluebonnet pictures are an absolute must for any true Texan.



I am soooo not happy with the coloring on the photo above of PandaGirl and her friend from church who is also adopted from China. This was the best of the worst. There were three perfect shots.

Count them.

Three.

But of those three shots something happened with the exposure and they were "blown out"......a term I have learned recently that means it is all WHITE and the color is literally blown out. So, though this is a darling pic of the girls, the blown out pics were really even cuter!

Such a blessing for PG to have a BFF with a unique common bond. I miss our old playgroup just terribly sometimes. I have fabulous memories of all our little White Swans playing together at each others' homes, the mall, the park, parties.......and pics in the bluebonnets. It's also wonderful to make new memories with new friends. All of it just morphs together to make for sweet memories in time.

Get out and enjoy whatever amazing springtime creation

that the Creator has for you!!

FOB

Oh. My. Word.

Where have I been you wonder?

FOB

That's "Flat On Back" as we've called the afternoon break time for the kids at summer camp. (This year it will change to Feet On Bunk since getting 6th graders to lay down for 30 minutes is near impossible!!)

Last weekend was filled with all the busyness that goes along with our annual church "eggstravaganza" egg hunt, an emotionally intense family photo shoot for a friend of mine who just started chemotherapy this week and babysitting our sweet little toddler friend again.

Good weekend until........my back started giving me some whines and moans.

I noticed during the photo shoot that whenever I'd stand up from squatting or kneeling to take the pics at just the right angle that I wanted that my back would kind of give a twinge of "oldness". Then through the course of the weekend I felt the twinge with each time I'd pick up the toddler. By Monday night I couldn't even hold the child and PandaPop had to hold my hands for me to get off the couch.

Fast forward to 1:00AM. I got up to go to the bathroom only to find myself in writhing pain. Tried to make my way to the end of the bed only to start blacking out followed by panic. The next thing I know I'm flat on the floor on my back, PP is over me and I am sweating profusely scared out of my mind because I can't get up. The only other time in my life that I've fainted was after a shot in the rear of medicine for severe strep throat. It is so darn scary!!!!!

PP was saying that he was calling an ambulance if I couldn't make it up in the next few minutes.

I. Was. Scared.

I took me another 15 minutes or so to make it to the bathroom only a few feet away. Never in all my live long days have I had back problems. Never do I want to have them again!!

I went to the doctor Tuesday afternoon gasping for air with each step that made my teeth shudder due to the pain. She gave me a muscle relaxer and an anti-inflamatory and told me to stay in bed for the next two days and then play it by ear on Friday. Today I am so grateful to say that my back is a bit better. I can walk....ever so slowly.....to the living room and back to the bedroom without losing my breath. However, I have a long way to go before I can say "back to normal".

Boils down to not being in great shape and my back saying it was done for at the moment. Believe me when I say that I hear my wake-up call LOUD AND CLEAR!!! This girl will be building her core strength immediately and focusing on health.

While having all the fun of laying flat on my back for three days I was able to empathize with people who have chronic back pain, paralysis or just anything that knocks them off a "regular" schedule of life.

PandaPop has been unbelievably AMAZING in taking care of me, PandaGirl, our home and all his work duties. Lord, bless him!!!

On Monday my socks were knocked off when PP came home with a new laptop computer that some friends purchased for us when they found out ours died and it was affecting my photography and such. I prayed blessings back on them as well.

I'm still on the mend and will be for quite some time, I do believe, but I am so grateful for the ability to even walk to this computer and be out of the bed, even if for only a little bit at a time.

I'll be back soon with some recent pics. I have to learn how to do photos on my new Dell PC laptop and since you all know that I've been a self-proclaimed Mac Snob I'm having to eat some humble pie. Can't look the gift horse in the mouth. Smile.