Petals & Thorns

Are you as weird as me?

Are you as fickle as me?

Do you waste time?

Do you have pity-parties and invite no one. Maybe invite everyone?

Do you love reading other people's blog words? Do you secretly hate it?

Do you spend more time comparing your lack of life to those who seemingly have a better-than-your-life blog post?

Are you wondering where the heck I am going with these ridiculous questions?

Me too.

I finally had a bit of time to do some blog-hopping this morning (really, I just sat down to check my email and the weather and one click led to another and so now I'm here babbling). I was led to the blog Bring the Rain. Her story was in the new HomeLife magazine that I get from my church. I've read her blog several times in the past couple of years.

Heart-wrenching.

There's always someone with a story that seems to hold more pain than your own, don't you think? In those discoveries there is that momentary cringe of sadness for them and a wave of thankfulness washing over that says, "Whew. I'm so glad that's not me." or "I could never go through that."

That sweet little rose bush in my back yard is a reminder that life is full of beautiful petal moments, but plenty of thorn moments as well.

I am so distracted by the curiosity in my head of your story. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a life that has had unexplainable joy and unbearable pain. The older I get and the more life shows on my skin, the more I notice life happenings on other people's skin. I have found that friends around my age or older hate the wrinkles and stiffening bodies, but would never go back to their 20's again. That's nothing against being in your 20's because it's there and on into the 30's that your eyes are opened and you begin to really, really understand that you don't really know much about anything.

That's how I am. Right now. Gee--that was uplifting. Maybe my blog will get picked up for being so enlightening and I'll have 1000's of followers and everyone will want to be me and have my life.

Not.

Dang, girl, what's with the acid today?

I'm OK. I still love Jesus and He still loves me. I have JOY in my heart and I'm looking forward to a great day. Really, I am. No acid or ugly undertones.

I just read the "About Us" portion of THIS SITE. I actually found myself being discouraged instead of encouraged which is NOT the intention of the site. Am I jealous that I'm not one of the girls on there? Do I feel "less than" because my life isn't in the Blogosphere as something special in which 1000's 0f readers partake on a daily basis?

Maybe.

Sometimes I wonder if others have extra hours in their day or if I am just really great at blowing my allotment of hours to the wind. My mind gets all twisty and wonky when I try to figure out how some women can do all that they do........AND blog about it. I know some people can fib or puff up their real life experiences, but the blogs I frequent I tend to think they are posting the real stuff they do.

There are sooooo many different styles of people that I adore. I think I'm going to do a post where I link you to all the fabulous places I like to visit on the web. There are just a vast array of people and personalities and talents "out there" that I love. I want it all!

I finished Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity. It is a must have. She rants and raves in this book like I've never seen her!!! She brings it on home about the insecurity that plagues us all and has done so most of our lives. Men included. Then she so passionately shows our true security in Jesus.

There have been several times since turning the last page of her book that I have said out loud, "My security is in Christ Jesus." Almost like a mantra. Telling myself, the Enemy or anyone in earshot that nothing is going to make me feel "less than" the child of God that I am.

Now, I need to get off my rear and go spend some time with Him seeing as how my security seems to strengthen when I spend my time in His presence as opposed to feeling like a scarecrow in a cornfield with life passing me by when I spend my time online. (I know, I'm contradicting my very self, because I will certainly log back on to see if anyone commented about my babbles).