Joy of the Christmas Child.
Noel is PandaGirl's middle name and from the moment I laid eyes on PandaJOY I thought it was perfect to give her the middle name of Joy should we get to adopt her.
It is so easy to find and buy anything at this time of year that has "joy" and "noel" for Christmas decorations.
Not so easy is getting unofficial word yesterday that we won't get to have PandaJOY for Christmas. Nope. Mediation is scheduled for mid-to-late January. Can you say tears? I cried so hard yesterday for an hour which caused me to get my insides all twisted up into cramps. That's never happened. I have cried harder, but never had a physical reaction to it.
PandaPop and I prayed after I could finally get it together and I stopped calling God "cruel" and remembered that He truly has been faithful in all my life no matter if things didn't work the way I wanted them to. All my experiences and all of His word prove Him to be holy, faithful, loving, kind, more than generous and full of grace and mercy. He feels my tears, too. This is a broken world with messed up people and flawed systems.
I am not posting this for sympathy, but hopefully someone can be led to His feet through our story and know that everything really is out of our control and only God can direct us.
Keep moving forward.
It's been our theme for the whole year and apparently we are not done. We'll never be done moving forward. Once PandaJOY is in our home, I'm sure there will be something else to trudge through, pray through and wonder about.
Thank you for your love and care.